Who am I

I am so confused. I don't know what I do. My dream is broken, love, study and so on.I feel that I can forget some unhappy thing. It is impossible. After two months, I still don't havethe main goal. What is my target. I may not want to face with something.In fact, I have higher pressure. I hate myself. I am so busted. I don't forgive my behavour.I promise my parents. I will be effort in associate degree. I tell the lie because I just payattention on my love. I am willing to apology with my parent. I don't abide by my promise.I get hurt from the love. It is not my prediction. This problem influnced my life since twomonths ago. I believe that I can change her but it is impoossible. She still misses her ex-boyfriend. What the help? I put in all love on herslef but she doesn't open herself to acceptmine. I hate love. It changes myself.